Posted Sep 27, 2009 in Travel | 5 Comments

SKYWHORES UNITE!!! presents Santo Domingo

Skywhores Unite Maria Consuelas Beaver Weaver

I left you last time with a broad view of the Dominican Republic. I mainly spoke about resorts, which you could visit as a couple or as a family. Well I neglected to include some information. The DR, as the country is known to many as, is a place where you can get into some mischief as well.

I had the pleasure of visiting this lovely country with an interesting group to say the least. After spending a few days on private resorts, we craved a little adventure. Our tour guide Prudy offered to drive us to a nearby town so as to mix and mingle with the locals and get a feel of how the country ticks. Innocently, we chose a local bar called La Luna to whet our appetites. Now how are 3 clearly North American looking white men supposed to blend in a predominately black country? That was one trick, the other was that La Luna was not your average bar in Luperon. Within 30 seconds I had 2 girls on my lap and my partners were not left empty handed. Yes, we had ventured into the best little whorehouse in Texas. Traveling with Richard Burnett (known gay-Canadian journalist) we could only look at each other and laugh. Richard was one that didn’t believe that these situations occurred to me, well now he believes.

Skywhores Unite water

Of course we left as soon as possible. Not into fish but meat, I had to say Richard’s parting words were on point, as we looked at the blinking neon light of a lady straddling a crescent moon, “La Luna, should have been called La Tuna”. We laughed so hard that we cried. You have to understand before this the group were very civil and professional to each other. This incident loosened us up but also created what the world will forever; remember as La Grande Grupo de Salsa La Luna de Luperon. We had managed to create our own non-musical band with members Loco, Tuna (the only female), Malaria, Noche, Tallulah (Richard), and Cuba La Luna.

We reeked havoc and even managed to have a sit down lunch with the Ambassador of Canada to the DR, Adam Blackwell. He asked us where we’ve been and what we’ve done, Cuba (David Pye) named all the resorts but included the fabled La Luna. This resulted in me spitting up my food in front of the ambassador, never expecting a brothel to be mentioned. The Ambassador, completely innocent of the venture simply nodded his head in agreement. Priceless!

Skywhores Unite Los Tres Ojos

Moving right along I must say that Santo Domingo is a gem waiting to be discovered by the tourist throngs. The city is located on the Caribbean Sea, at the mouth of the Ozama River. With a population of over 2million anything goes in this tropical city. Full of great food, cheap rum, and beautiful people, how can you go wrong? The most interesting part of the city is the Zona Colonial. This is basically their version of Old Montreal. It’s their historic quarters with full Spanish flair, 500 years of history and architecture. This area boasts cobblestone streets and an impressive group of buildings dating back to the 16th century. Take a walk and you’ll be taken to a romantic world of quaint galleries, café’s, and bars.

While in Santo Domingo take a cab to Los Tres Ojos. These are enormous caves consisting of 3 lagoons of the bluest water. Full of stalagmites and stalactites it’s definitely an interesting visit; just make sure you bring your walking shoes, cause heels would be murder honey.


Santo Domingo does not disappoint. As a lot of Germans go to Thailand, Americans go to the Caribbean; the Spanish go to the Dominican Republic. The nightclubs are bangin’ and will definitely keep you awake till your early flight. The people…well to keep my article PG, we’ll say, they are pleasant.

Skywhores Unite Guacara

Str8 – Guacara Taina

Set on the southside of Santo Domingo, this club is actually deep inside an enormous cave, 100 feet underground. Being the only grotto club in the world, it’s a must see. One of the hottest clubs in the DR, its definitely a trip even if its not “heterosexually challenged”.

I was robbed recently of all my information and would have loved too enlightened you on what Mr. Adam Blackwell considers the new gateway to Latin America. This resulted in me having to rely mostly on memory and not being able to list all the delicious, mouth watering restaurants I visited. But when in doubt follow my advice and ask a cab driver. Cab drivers know the city inside and out even if they get lost. Richard and I couldn’t find the local gay bars a block away and by chance bumped into a cab driver who was drinking out of a bottle of rum, eating dinner, and watching TV while driving. Yes, he was quite the talented man, but a wealth of information. We visited every gay bar in the city in one night. If only our cab drivers were so talented.



The biggest club with its sister club in Barcelona. A large cavernous club located in a renovated mansion in the Colonial Zone. With 2 floors they play two different sounds to please everyone, upstairs plays the latest dance sounds, while downstairs is a chill relaxed vibe. Don’t assume that because it’s not Europe or the U.S. that it might pale in comparison…bad move. This club is on the level of NY, Paris, or London, without a doubt.

This is not a mere club but also a complex boasting Punto (gallery/bar), La Hacienda Hotel, Aqua Sauna. Everything a gay man needs; drink, dance, sleep and sex. No they don’t eat.

Parios Bar

Holds a special place in my heart. It’s a small local bar with cheesy loud trance music when they should be keeping it chill. But interesting conversation can be had and the super sweet owner Orlando is not bad looking too. I like his stance on life. He’s a straight man who figures why can’t I make money from gays. He says, “I like them (gays), they like me, I grew up with them and there’s not enough places for them to feel at ease. People might look at me bad, but I know I make some people very happy.”

Skywhores Unite Casa de Campo

One Last Resort

If you’re looking for absolute and I do mean absolute luxury, then please by any means necessary visit Casa de Campos.  A short drive from the city and near La Romana.

7,000-acre vacation/golf retreat with private beach boasting an Alicia keys video shoot, ex-President Bush, Clinton, and Carter as guests, and me Claudelle Rockwelle! They’ve seen it all. They even have private residences flowing way over the million dollar mark. Of course where there’s money you can also find some questionable characters. But disregard their reputations as being arm dealers, consider them as men with great lawyers.

You can also rent out apartments in their shopping district, which consists of some of the highest labels that money can find. So save up with a friend or two and spoil yourself rotten. When there, ask for Angel (public relations). Great guy, well connected, with a genuine interest in Canada.

So my suggestion is book a flight now. This country will only remain this beautiful for a period of time before our neighbours down south decide to go nuts and start buying. Just think of all the fun you’ll have listening to the ever original beat of reggaeton!!!

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