Posted Oct 24, 2009 in All Things Sex | 0 Comments

The Alphabet can really make you SMILE…

Alphabet Sex

We were at brunch Saturday morning. As I hung up my many layers of clothing, I could hear friends giggling away at the antics of their day gone by. Yet it still took me awhile to play catch up as I walked into their conversation midway…

“A and Z,” declared Nina.

“Right…” Luca nodded . “…A woman of extremes….”

“X’s and O’s for me!”

“X’s and O’s?!” Luca’s head snapped around in surprise.

“It’s like hugs and kisses for your bum!”

My eyebrow arched. What was James going on about now?

“That’s….disgustingly romantic.” Luca remarked.

“I am disgustingly romantic.”

“Right. Mr. I-like-to-get-touched guy.” Luca sasses back. “Well I prefer R’s and Q’s. It’s like an O with a kick and R’s you really get in there!”

I was a bit taken aback as Luca finally noticed me standing there confused.

Alphabet Sex Toys

“You okay M.A.T.?”

“What’s exactly is the topic here and why do I feel dirty?”

“Eating ass.” James grin practically lit up the room.

“And how exactly did breakfast buffet turn into dining on ass?”

“Technically, it’s Nina’s fault,” Luca pointed.

“What do you mean? You told me that story and Dave came to you,” she countered.

I stood there still perplexed, awaiting clarification.

“Dave?”

James filled in my hanging question. “Mr. I-wish-I-was-gay Dave?”

“Is this the same Dave as I-wish-I-was-single-or-black-or-had-tits Dave?”

“Yeah…him…”

Eating A**

“So you ate Dave’s ass?”

“No No. No. No.” Luca shook his head, desperately trying to hide his smile.

“He ate yours?”

“Stop getting me excited? No. Nina, tell him.”

Nina repositioned herself in her seat. “I had coffee with his wife earlier this week and she was asking for ideas to…you know…spice things up, so I told her to eat his ass.”

“…by the way it was Irish coffee,” James interjected.

“Meanwhile, Dave highjacked me at my 5 a 7 last night!”

“I knew he would call you.”

“And he was FREEEEEEEEEEEEEAKING it out!”

“Did your voice actually go an octave higher?”

“Yeah…BECAUSE HE LIKED IT!!! Now he’s questioning his sexuality; he’s all confused.” He droned on, “I had to pull out my grade 9 bio book and school him in nerve endings.”

“An ass is an ass is ass.” They said in unison.

“Good thing Nina didn’t recommend a butt plug.” James retorted.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa baby steps la?”

“Well, after a few drinks, I did encourage him to explore the possibility.”

Exotic Alphabet

James began, “Luca started telling Dave about doing the alphabet and how he busted one of his friends in a stall after hearing all this moaning…”

Suddenly, Luca’s forehead was buried in this hand as I felt my face beginning to flush with heat.

“Why are you blushing,” James demanded.

“Oh my god,” Nina smirked. “So what was your letter?”

“He liked ‘g.’ Times New Roman. Lower case.”

So what letter(s) work for you?

Holla at your M.A.T.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. We Need to TALK | YourKloset - [...] M.A.T.’s Previous Conversation w/Dave & the Gang Get Social! [...]
  2. So Dave needed to have a Conversation… | YourKloset - [...] M.A.T.’s Previous Conversation w/Dave & the Gang Share [...]

Be Heard